“The one where it all goes wrong” Season 2

 This blog will be about all the problematic scenes in Season 2 of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. TV show. This time I tried to minimize the content where I have to evaluate toxic relationship behaviors. I do not want to focus on the relationships in this series but some patterns of behavior will still be mentioned because they should not be overlooked. If you readers want me to include the problematic relationship patterns in future blogs, let me know in the comments. 

Episode 1 “The one with Ross’s New Girlfriend” 

• Rachel's presumptive comment when she met Julie: 

-> “Uh, these are for you. Welcome. To. Our. Country.” - Rachel 

~> Ahh Yes, it is a very rational assumption that people from the east don't understand English. It's not like Julie easily communicated with Ross and started dating him. She was also the head of research and came back to New York with Ross. Rachel was so considerate to enunciate every word for Julie. She is after all from China. 

*Trigger warning: Sexual harassment mentioned*

• Rachel having a one-night stand with Paolo, a man who harassed her friend:

~> Getting back with a man who sexually assaulted your friend because the guy you like started dating someone else. A real mature move. 

• No one even acknowledging that Paolo is making Phoebe uncomfortable: 

-> “Eww!”- Phoebe’s reaction when she sees Paolo come out of Rachel's room

-> “Okay, you're going to have to stop touching my ass.” - Phoebe

~> Nobody stopped him. Nobody made sure Phoebe was okay and comfortable. Nobody even looked Phoebe’s way. They just left her to deal with it. Ross was angrier at the fact that Rachel ignored his advice and got back with Paolo. None of them cared about how uncomfortable Phoebe was with Paolo around. Her assaulter was again groping her in a place she felt safe and none of her friends cared. 

• Chandler being mad at Joey for not knowing his tailor is a sexual predator and Ross joining in on it: 

-> “Your tailor is a very bad man.” - Chandler

-> “Frankie? What are you talking about?” - Joey

-> “What’s going on?” - Ross

-> “Joey’s tailor... took advantage of me.” - Chandler 

-> “What?” - Ross 

-> “No way I've been going to the guy for 12 years.” - Joey 

-> “He said he was going to do my inseam. Then he ran his hand up my leg and then, there was definite... cupping.” - Chandler 

-> “That’s how they do pants.” - Joey 

Chandler glares at Joey with an incredulous expression 

-> “First they go up one side, they move it over. Then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear.” - Joey 

Ross and Chandler stare at Joey 

-> “What? Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?” - Joey 

-> “Yes. Yes, it is- in prison! What is the matter with you?!” - Ross 

~> So let me get this right. Chandler and Ross are mad at Joey because he didn't know that he was getting sexually assaulted for 12 years? Make it make sense. 

~> I get that Chandler felt violated and he had every right to be angry. But not at Joey. Joey was clueless and he got yelled at for no reason. Chandler and Ross should've handled the situation like the 28-year-old adults they are, rather than playing the blame game.

Episode 2 "The one with the Breast Milk" 

• Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler reprimanding Monica for agreeing to go shopping with Julie:

-> "Monica, what are you doing? You can't go shopping with her. What about Rachel?" - Joey 

-> "This is going to be a problem isn't it?" - Monica 

-> "You're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie. It's like cheating on Rachel in her place of worship." - Chandler 

-> "Monica, she will kill you." - Phoebe 

~> I don't think these guys understand how adult relationships work. Rachel feeling insecure because Monica is hanging out a lot with Julie is valid. But, Rachel seeing it as a betrayal that Monica is making friends with her brother's girlfriend is unfair. Monica and Julie enjoying spending time together has nothing to do with Rachel. Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe shouldn't have tried to stop Monica. In the stead, they should've remarked that if Rachel felt betrayed by such a menial thing then she's being immature.

• Rachel, Chandler, and Ross being so disgusted about drinking breast milk:

~> I get that they don't have to like it or even drink it. That is completely their choice. But, visibly shuddering when other people try it and making revolted faces is not okay. 

~> The show writers trying to show that some people do feel so uncomfortable about breast-milk is admirable. However, they did not execute it properly. The whole thing was just dismissed and laughed over. Much like everything else in the show. 

Episode 6 "The one with the Baby on the Bus"

• Chandler's way of calming Monica after commenting on her loneliness due to being single:

-> "Joey, she does not look fat." - Chandler 

~> Not being fat is not a compliment. Being skinny is not relative to good. Being fat is not relative to bad. This kind of language has normalized fat being perceived as a bad thing or an insult. Commenting on people's bodies is wrong. 

Episode 7 "The one where Ross Finds Out"

*Trigger warning: Fat-phobic content mentioned*

• Making fun of Chandler for putting on weight and associating weight gain to feeling shitty:

-> "Every time I put on a little weight I start questioning everything" - Phoebe

-> "I've... I've put on a little weight?" - Chandler

The room becomes deathly silent. Joey and Ross run off to the kitchen and Rachel averts her eyes.

-> "Well?" - Chandler

-> "No, not weight. More like insulation." - Phoebe

Chandler groans and looks down at the floor. Phoebe hugs him to cheer him up and then does this:

-> "Oh... can't...make...hands...meet." - Phoebe while flapping her hands

Chandler pushes Phoebe away and looks down at the floor defeatedly.

-> "Chandler, I am unemployed and in dire need of a project. I can remake you." - Monica

~> All this is in a world-famous TV show and people still wonder how eating disorders exist.

~> Weight gain is not necessarily a bad thing. It should not be associated with feeling worthless. Your self-worth is not dependent on a weight scale.   

~> Talking about someone's weight should bring silence. But not because it is about gaining weight. The reason for the silence should be the fact that it is wrong to discuss someone's body. 

~> Chandler's friends laughing at him and Phoebe making jokes about his body can give the root to many insecurities. No real friend should do this or allow someone else to do it.

~> A person is not a project. A person is not someone you can remake. Just because Chandler has gained weight doesn't allow Monica to take away his sense of being. He is still a person. 

• Joey suggesting Phoebe's boyfriend is gay because he hasn't initiated sex:

-> "Maybe he drives his car on the other side of the road if you know what I mean." - Joey

~> So the only reason men won't initiate sex is that they are gay. They can't be trying to know their partner better. They can't be asexual. They can't be working through some trauma. No. The only possible reason a man wouldn't want to have sex is that he is gay. Men really shouldn't be affronted by women assuming they only want sex when they are the ones who spread that stereotype. 

• Monica and Chandler attacking each other like 12-year-olds:

-> "In fact, I like the last pound. So don't make me do anything I'll regret." - Chandler 

-> "Oh! What are you going to do, fat boy?" - Monica 

-> "Nothing, except tell you I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. I mean especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. You know, I mean you can't tell your parents you were fired 'cause they'd be disappointed. And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on." - Chandler

~> Monica pushing Chandler's limits and calling him fat as an insult when he won't let her is not okay. Chandler allowed her to help him. She must respect his boundaries. 

~> On the other hand, Chandler manipulating Monica to stop by hurting her is childish behavior. She trusts him in her life and he uses her vulnerabilities to attack her. 

~>No friend should be doing either of these things.

Episode 8 "The one with the Lesbian Wedding"

*Trigger warning: Fat-phobic content mentioned*

• Rachel's mom's comment:

-> "Monica, you look gorgeous. The last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten." - Sandra Green 

~> Yes, fat people being cannibals because they can't control their hunger is a very funny joke.  

~> This is such a backhanded compliment. Monica looks gorgeous because she's now skinny? So, Mrs Green took a hit on Monica's compulsive eating disorder and told her that her body being thinner is what makes her beautiful. Such a abhorrent person. 

• An 80+ man hitting on Phoebe: 

-> "She also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time." - Mr. Addlman said while leering at Phoebe 

-> "Worth a shot, huh?" - Mr. Addlman asks the group and Joey nods in agreement

~> No, it's not worth a shot. It's disgusting. I was repulsed through the screen while watching that scene.

Episode 12 "The one after the Super Bowl"

*Trigger warning: homophobic content mentioned*

• Phoebe's song being kind of bi-phobic:

-> "And then there are bisexuals, though some say they are just kidding themselves." - Phoebe

~> The episode ends after this line and I don't know what to make of it. Is Phoebe one of those people who believe bisexuals are kidding themselves? We will never know. I don't think this line should've been added. The song she was singing was teaching the kids about homosexuality. Adding such a confusing line to it is just asking for trouble.

Episode 14 "The one with the Prom Video"

• Ross hiding away the message Casey left for Rachel:

~> This is a repetitive theme in the series. Ross and Rachel act very selfishly when the other is involved with someone else. I will say it, as it is, Toxic. No excuse for it. It's just toxic.

• Ross pretending Rachel is his blind date because he is jealous her date is going well: 

~> Rachel did call him out on it. But the fact of the matter is that Ross ruined her date. He felt like he had some entitlement to her so he sabotaged her trying to move on. This is also a repeating theme and I am not surprised. Toxic patterns are hard to unlearn. 

*Trigger warning: Fat-phobic content mentioned*

• The mandatory fat jokes: 

-> "Hey, Monica! What's this? - Phoebe 

-> "That's my bathing suit from high school. I was a little bigger then." - Monica

-> "I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained." - Chandler 

When Monica comes on the screen in the video tape:- 

-> "Some girl ate Monica." - Joey 

-> "Shut up. The camera adds ten pounds." - Monica 

-> "So, how many cameras were on you" - Chandler

~> None of these remarks are funny in the least. They are simply fat-shaming

Episode 16 "The one where Joey moves out"

• The show of gender stereotypes using these starkly different conversations:

 The women's side-

-> "Speaking of whom... I hear he has a 20-year-old twinkie in the city." - Judy Geller's friend

-> "So Richard's shopping in the junior section." - Judy 

-> "And you just know she's got the IQ of a napkin." - Judy 

-> "And she's probably not even very pretty- Just young enough so that everything is still pointing up." - The friend

 The men's side-

-> "Come on, tell us." - Jack Geller

-> "Is she really 20?" - Jack's friend

-> "I am not telling you guys anything" - Richard

-> "Rich, it's my birthday. Let me live vicariously." - Jack 

-> "Dad, you don't want to do that." - Ross

-> "What's a little mid-life crisis between friends." - Jack 

-> "Jack, would you let it go?" - Richard

-> "I know what you're going through.When I turned 50, I got the Porsche. You, you got yourself your own little speedster." - Jack

-> "Guys, seriously it is not like that." -Richard

-> "Tell you what. Maybe one of these weekends, you can borrow the car, and I could..." - Jack

-> "Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence." - Ross

-> "What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche." - Jack

When Richard and Monica meet-

-> "I'm a twinkie." - Monica

-> "Really? I'm a hero." - Richard

~> Women are shamed for the same thing men are praised for. Sexual women are a disgrace but sexualizing women is acceptable. Women bring down other women but men congratulate men on scoring. Objectification of women is a normal thing. A women's worth and integrity is less than that of a car. 

~> This was an awful scene. They could've shown Jack and Judy's disapproval in a less misogynistic way. Society needs to change their mindset. This stuff should never be normalized.   

Episode 19 "The one where Eddie won't go" 

• This whole episode makes fun of feminism and women empowerment by sticking to the bias that it makes women into men hating lunatics. 

• Joey expressing his opinion on well-read women:

-> "See this is why I don't date women who read." - Joey

~> Thank you, Joey. Any self-respecting and non-fictional woman wouldn't date you either.

Episode 20 "The one where Old Yeller Dies"

• Monica sexualizing herself to get Joey and Chandler to come over for dinner:

-> "What am I wearing?! Just rubber gloves." - Monica 

~> At this point I don't need to tell you how sad and wrong this is. 

Episode 22 "The one with the Two Parties"

• Joey staring at Monica's chest the whole time she's talking:

~> CREEP.

*Trigger warning:Sexual harassment mentioned*

• Chandler taking advantage of a girl who's drunk: 

-> "Joe! Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said I want you Dennis and stuck her tongue down my throat. I love this party." - Chandler

Joey asks something

-> "Joey, a woman just stuck her tongue down my throat. I'm not even listening to you." - Chandler

-> "Dennis!" - a woman drunkenly shouts in the background 

-> "Okay, that's me." - Chandler

~> No, that is not you. She is clearly not in the right state of mind. This is sexual harassment. She needs help, not the host of the party taking advantage of her. Even if she initiated it, Chandler is clearly the one who has his wits about him. He should've stopped this and helped her get sober. But, instead he harassed her. 

Episode 24 "The one with Barry and Mindy's Wedding"

*Trigger warning: homophobic content mentioned*

• Ross and Chandler's absolute disgust over Joey suggesting that he can practice his kissing with them:

-> "Over my dead body." - Ross

-> "I'll be using his dead body as a shield." -  Chandler

~> It's their choice. But, there was no need for them to be this revolted by the very idea. Joey asked for help because he needed practice before his audition. It wasn't such a big deal. Even if they wanted to deny, they could've just said a simple no. This is internalized homophobia coming through.

                                                    The End